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Understanding the Dark Side of Envy: Why Some Rejoice in Your Failures

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Chapter 1: The Nature of Schadenfreude

Imagine this scenario: your significant other leaves you for someone else, and soon after, you hear that they’ve been dumped as well! It can be quite fulfilling to witness such poetic justice unfold, especially if you feel wronged. Remember the buzz when Rihanna shared a similar sentiment?

Rihanna expressing feelings of betrayal

According to Cecconi's 2017 research, this sensation is termed INJUSTICE SCHADENFREUDE — the satisfaction derived from seeing someone who has wronged you face misfortune, even if it doesn’t serve as direct retribution. This reflects a sense of fairness, especially if the person who caused you pain initiated the breakup. It’s akin to thinking, “They finally received their comeuppance.”

In Japanese culture, there’s a saying that conveys this notion: “The misfortune of others tastes like honey.” The French describe it as “joie maligne,” meaning a wicked delight in the suffering of others. The term schadenfreude combines the German words for harm (Schaden) and joy (Freude), translating to a malicious joy in English.

A 2015 study conducted in Würzburg, Germany, found that football fans exhibited more noticeable joy when a rival team missed a penalty kick compared to when their own team scored. This phenomenon is the antithesis of empathy; while empathy allows us to connect with and support those in distress, schadenfreude elicits happiness from their suffering.

One major factor that drives schadenfreude is envy, an emotion triggered by comparisons with others. It serves to maintain our social standing by ensuring we don’t lose or gain power in relation to others. Historically, being part of a high-status group improved access to mates and resources, enhancing survival chances.

Research by Wedell (1994) indicates that encountering someone of high status, especially if they appear competent, can highlight our own insecurities, thus provoking envy. This envy intensifies when we desire what the other possesses or wish that they lack it, making us feel more connected to them.

When individuals we envy face unfortunate events, a study by Lange and Boecker (2019) shows we derive considerable enjoyment from it. This feeling is amplified if they previously acted arrogantly or dominantly; their perceived loss of power diminishes our envy.

Consider the case of the Oceangate incident; prior to this event, very few were familiar with deep-sea exploration. The extravagant $250,000 ticket and the fact that the passengers were billionaires kept many glued to their screens as the unfolding rescue mission gained attention. Interestingly, once it became known that safety protocols were ignored, social media shifted from sympathy to humor, with memes proliferating.

Memes about the Oceangate incident

This pattern of reaction was similarly evident during a storm in Dubai that resulted in widespread flooding. The city, known for its luxurious and technologically advanced image, faced a stark reality as its facade of perfection was shattered.

Flooding in Dubai reveals vulnerability

The floods were perceived as a form of humility for a place that had become synonymous with wealth and dominance. Lange and Boecker's research further suggests that openly showcasing schadenfreude can undermine the perceived dominance of others, acting as a social diminishment.

We often feel joy when misfortune befalls someone we envy, as it alleviates the discomfort associated with our envy, transforming it into pleasure. Critically, it’s easier to mock the misfortunes of the wealthy than to confront our discomfort when successful friends or relatives encounter setbacks.

Expressing schadenfreude is generally frowned upon in most social contexts, as highlighted by Benincà’s 1992 study. These involuntary reactions can evoke feelings of shame, as they reveal our envy and perceived inadequacies. While these feelings are natural, they are typically fleeting.

If you find yourself the target of envy, it can be wise to occasionally showcase your imperfections and acknowledge minor flaws. This can help to mitigate envy and present a more relatable image.

“Envy creates silent enemies.” — Robert Greene

Research references:

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