What is Spiritual Bypassing?

Spiritual bypassing refers to the tendency to ignore uncomfortable truths about ourselves. We often shun the darker aspects of our being, opting instead to focus on spiritual teachings and concepts like manifestation to evade confronting these uncomfortable realities. The parts of ourselves that we refuse to acknowledge remain buried within our unconscious, silently wreaking havoc on our mental and physical well-being. Clearly, this approach is not conducive to genuine healing or authentic spiritual growth.

But why do we resort to this? How can we recognize when we're engaging in spiritual bypassing?

Spiritual Bypassing as a Defense Mechanism

From an evolutionary standpoint, humans have always sought to evade danger. The nature of threats has evolved from physical predators to emotional triggers, such as unkind comments from partners. Our bodies react to perceived threats, often interpreting emotional pain as a physical danger. For instance, we might take a partner's offhand remark as a personal affront, leading us to feel unattractive or unloved.

At a deeper level, these feelings often connect to childhood wounds related to abandonment. This complex awareness is challenging to cultivate yet is essential for spiritual growth and self-discovery. Confronting these realities can be painful, so we often default to autopilot, instinctively avoiding what we fear.

Suppressing our truths may seem safer than facing them, but it ultimately results in self-sabotage, preventing us from sharing our struggles with the world and, more crucially, with ourselves.

Inner Work: The Unpleasant Truth

If I hear someone claim they've vanquished their ego one more time, I might just lose it. I don’t believe we can eradicate our egos; rather, they are integral characters in the narrative of our lives. However, spiritual practices can help us manage our egos, keeping them from taking control.

In moments of spiritual bypassing, I’ve felt a sense of superiority, thinking I’m more enlightened than those around me. This delusion is a classic symptom of bypassing, signaling that my ego is still in the driver's seat. While it's important to celebrate personal growth, believing oneself to be superior serves no one.

We need to abandon preconceived notions of what a spiritual person should be. Light and darkness coexist within everyone, and recognizing both is essential for authentic living. Denying our true selves is exhausting and can manifest as physical and mental health issues. Embracing the full spectrum of our humanity is vital, as perpetual positivity may simply be a means of avoiding discomfort.

The Addictive Nature of Spiritual Bypassing

In the face of trauma or stress, many people instinctively seek out distractions to alleviate pain. Personally, I’ve turned to alcohol to numb emotional turmoil. Various outlets—eating, social media, work, intimacy, and even spirituality—can become coping mechanisms.

However, indulging in life's pleasures doesn't inherently mean you're avoiding reality. The key lies in understanding the motivation behind your actions. For instance, are you craving a piece of cake because you feel unworthy, or simply because you want to enjoy a treat?

Honesty with oneself is a skill that takes practice. I once thought I had processed my past anger, only to discover it was still present, waiting to be acknowledged.

So, I encourage you to embrace all your emotions—anger, sadness, confusion. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic, even if it means temporarily setting aside feelings of love and compassion. On the other side of this raw honesty lies the acceptance we've all been longing for.

All of you is welcomed here.