Challenges Faced by Individuals with Disorders

When given the opportunity to change negative behaviors, an honest person in relationships will strive for improvement. However, some individuals may struggle to do so—not due to a lack of sincerity or effort, but because of their mental health challenges.

I personally grapple with significant mental health issues that require me to take medication nightly and seek social support. In the past, I attended a rehabilitation center several times a week, where I engaged in conversations with others who also faced mental health struggles. During that time, I was fortunate to form a few friendships.

Those interactions were delightful, filled with discussions about art, manga, films, culture, and politics—activities reminiscent of college life. At 24, my friends were of a similar age, though some were slightly older, and we all shared a youthful exuberance.

However, our friendships were short-lived. One friend was hospitalized and subsequently moved away, while I distanced myself from another due to my inability to tolerate his selfishness. This friend, who also struggled with autism and a mental disorder, experienced cognitive distortions that affected his perception of others' feelings.

For instance, during a trip to the supermarket to buy dinner ingredients, he suddenly became upset with me for reasons I couldn't comprehend. He left without a word when I stepped away briefly. Later that day, he called to express his anger, claiming I was inconsiderate regarding his body odor, an issue we had never discussed. Despite my confusion, he believed I must have been judging him negatively. Regrettably, our conversations often ended on sour notes, and although he seemed remorseful, he was unable to modify his behavior.

The friendship eventually ended due to my impatience. Accepting all aspects of life is essential. I don’t wish to imply that personal change is unattainable for everyone; rather, it can be particularly challenging for those facing difficulties. Additionally, the effectiveness of such efforts can vary with age. While those in their twenties may adapt more readily, individuals in their forties might not recognize the negative impact of their actions on others.

We are all flawed, and our actions often reflect that imperfection. As we age, we may find ourselves unable to perform tasks we once could. Those with mental disorders frequently encounter similar obstacles in life.

At 36, I still consider myself relatively young compared to my parents, yet I often feel aged and as if I am awaiting the end of my life. My condition, schizophrenia, profoundly affects my mental functions, outlook, and emotions, draining my physical stamina. In my early twenties, I often found it difficult to leave my bed due to fatigue. Others, who did not understand my illness, might have misinterpreted my struggles as laziness. I felt powerless to change my attitude, succumbing to my suffering.

Individuals enduring significant challenges may find it hard to modify their behavior, often leading to discomfort or misfortune in their lives. They must endure their pain and accept their circumstances, regardless of whether others acknowledge their suffering.

While I mentioned that some may lack the energy to focus on self-improvement, I must clarify that behavior modification is not impossible. It’s vital to recognize their selfishness, which stems from their struggles, as part of their journey.

Indeed, their selfishness can complicate their lives further, as many who lack experience with such suffering may find their challenges incomprehensible. Sometimes, those who are unwell perceive an illusion of persecution by others. Yet, some of these perceptions are rooted in reality, suggesting that the narratives they create can be misleading.

Through my experiences, I have learned that the key to overcoming these challenges lies in acceptance. Often, the troubles we face in our relationships stem from our own behavior. Consequently, if we can adjust our actions, we may find improvements in our lives.

Where does negative behavior originate? It often arises from selfishness. Many resources advise us to be kind to others or to patiently consider different viewpoints to cultivate healthy relationships. While these approaches can facilitate character development, they have limitations in effecting fundamental behavioral changes. Such transformations require a high level of intelligence and rationality to accurately assess one’s circumstances, which some individuals may not possess due to their conditions.

Therefore, I propose an alternative approach: one that relies less on intelligence and more on a willingness to accept oneself. Acceptance of your entire situation is the remedy.

While it is indeed challenging to shift one’s perspective as one ages, this approach offers a unique advantage for those who are older or facing physical or mental health issues. The biblical adage rings true: “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” By embracing your entire state, you can initiate profound changes.

Over time, you will discover a renewal in your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and energy, all occurring in solitude and subconsciously, independent of rational thought processes. Eventually, you will begin to cultivate self-love, leading to noticeable changes in your behavior.