Chapter 1: Acknowledging My Struggles

Dear Me,

This letter is not just for my past self, but also for who I am in this moment. You often grapple with feelings of inadequacy due to the burdens you carry. There’s a constant pressure to do more, even when the only option is to pause and breathe.

Your entire life has been shaped by those around you, making you feel that inaction equals failure. I remember being criticized for indulging in simple pleasures like reading or watching TV, or even mindlessly scrolling through my phone. These actions were either a sign that I was slipping into depression, overwhelmed by an endless to-do list, or that I had devoted every moment to caring for others instead of myself.

Yet, people only witness the moment you finally take a break, unaware of the effort that led to that point. It often seems that whenever you attempt to push forward, the universe pushes back, reminding you to slow down. This is a sign that you may be straying from your true path.

This process of slowing down can be challenging. I have to resist the urge to escape and confront these questions:

1. What can I realistically accomplish today?

Admittedly, I despise this question. It highlights the limitations of my abilities and fuels my frustration with my ADHD, which often prevents me from completing tasks. It's a reminder of that all-too-familiar feeling of failure. Even when I pause and try to calm my racing thoughts, another emotion emerges: depression. Nevertheless, this question holds significant power when I apply it, even amidst the turmoil of emotions.

2. Is this truly what’s best for me?

For those of us in recovery from people-pleasing, this question can be particularly difficult. It requires us to set aside the needs of others, which can feel like losing a part of our identity. Such feelings can lead to deep-seated trauma and existential doubts. As I write this, I sense a wave of internal resistance.

3. Why do I feel guilty about what I can’t accomplish today?

Guilt is one of my greatest weaknesses, and it is yours too. It can make you want to retreat into yourself while simultaneously pushing you toward actions that leave you feeling nauseated. If you can, try to unload those heavy emotions by writing until you’ve expressed everything that feels uncomfortable. Then, revise and refine your thoughts to pinpoint the source of your guilt.

Is this guilt genuinely yours, or is it something imposed by someone else? Did someone project their insecurities onto you? Have you done something that warrants shame, or is someone overstepping your boundaries? Guilt can be a powerful weapon used by others against us, especially when they know we tend to prioritize others' needs over our own.

Reflect on these three questions when you feel overwhelmed. Identify the most critical tasks and assess how realistic they are to accomplish. Remember, you are doing your best.

I hope you take pride in how far you’ve come. I know that if I were to look back at my former self, I might struggle to believe how capable I am today. Progress may seem slow, but small steps and self-compassion will guide you to the future you envision for yourself. Keep pushing forward.

Chapter 2: Embracing the Journey

In this chapter, we explore the importance of rest and reflection in our lives.

This first video, "A Love Letter to the Worn Out | Redefining Seasons of Rest," provides a poignant reminder of the significance of taking time for ourselves amidst the chaos of life. It emphasizes the necessity of recognizing our need for rest, especially during overwhelming times.

The second video, "A Love Letter to Seasons of Low Inspiration | Coffee and Chat | Cozy November Feelings," invites us to embrace moments of low inspiration and understand that it's perfectly okay to slow down and savor the quieter seasons of our lives.