Chapter 1: The Journey of Rebirth

Understanding our tendency to remain comfortable is crucial.

I’ve articulated the ongoing journey of self-discovery in various ways. My truth doesn’t simply appear in flawless form; it breaks through with intensity, impacting my very being. It emerges from deep within during solitary moments, coursing through me and sending vibrations that resonate before finally breaking free.

Today, I find myself grappling with the discomfort of transformation. Confronting the chaotic nature of change is painful; leaving the protective cocoon and previous versions of ourselves is daunting. However, stagnation in those familiar states can lead to an internal demise.

My struggle with change is often subtle, lurking behind my bold commitments to authenticity. It coexists with my determination to embrace who I am, irrespective of outside opinions. The most challenging aspect occurs when change intertwines with discomfort. The dual process of evolving while enduring pain has been particularly harsh for me.

Let me elaborate. Pain can emerge at various stages: in the moment of making a decision, during the journey itself, or in dealing with the outcomes, whether they are rewarding or regrettable. For me today, the pain lies in taking that initial step. Much of my adult life has been spent dismantling falsehoods—not to prove others wrong or cast blame, but to uncover my true essence.

What society instilled in me, once a source of comfort, ultimately hindered my well-being. Although I have shed many layers, remnants of that programming still cling to me. Thus, taking that first step out of another cocoon is particularly challenging. I often wish to navigate this transition in solitude, curled up on my couch. Recently, however, I’ve found myself processing these changes while in transit—whether on the highway, in an airplane, or alongside someone in a car—making the experience feel surreal. The visibility of my transformation makes me uncomfortable; I prefer the before-and-after reveal.

In 2014, I launched the brand Polished Pistil, followed by many for nearly a decade. Some have joined more recently, while others proudly wear the Polished Pistil apparel. What might be unknown is that the name was inspired by a powerful quote:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

— Anais Nin

This quote resonates deeply with me today. While previously I focused on the concepts of budding and blossoming, now the word "MORE" stands out. Both remaining in a tight bud and blooming bring pain. The familiarity of my identity must become MORE uncomfortable for me to break free and reveal my true self, the person I was meant to be. It’s essential to recognize that courage and risk-taking do not equate to a lack of fear or pain. On days I feel light and liberated, it’s the result of extensive internal and external stretching—akin to the physical stretching experienced during childbirth. While ultimately beautiful, it is not without its discomfort and risks.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

— Romans 12:2

Much of my upbringing has been reinforced by societal norms, which often imply that merely existing is insufficient. Questions like "What do you do?" before asking for a name or "Where do you live?" before understanding someone's identity reflect this conditioning. Our love and respect are often contingent on our achievements or possessions. However, my relationship with Jesus of Nazareth/Yeshua and Yahweh has taught me that love is unconditional. No matter my circumstances, I am supported and understood.

I’ve also learned that stagnation only leads to more suffering. Currently, I recognize the significance of taking small, courageous steps in my life. These steps involve emerging from yet another cocoon, shedding layers of my past, and allowing myself to be imperfectly visible to the world.

When you see me radiating joy and wonder, let it inspire you to embark on your own journey of growth. Remember, it’s perfectly fine for growth to be messy and challenging. Rest assured that God accompanies you through every moment.

With one less layer,

Maquita Donyel

Chapter 2: Finding Courage in Discomfort

This video explores the evolution of comic book narratives, including highlights from the DC Rebirth and Marvel Legacy, offering insights into the complex world of storytelling.

This video discusses the impact of DC Rebirth five years later, providing guidance on which comics to buy, borrow, or ignore in today’s market.