Chapter 1: The Fallacy of Hard Work

Living as a man in today’s world often comes with societal pressures dictating how one should behave or what goals to pursue.

By Alex Terranova

Recently, a man in his 40s confided in me, saying, “I’ll just try harder,” implying he would employ the same strategies that previously worked for him, even if they no longer seem effective. While he is financially secure, he expressed feelings of confusion and a lack of direction in his career. "I feel a bit lost and unsure about my next steps," he admitted.

As our conversation progressed, he suddenly had a realization: “I just need to work harder. I need to get back to what got me here.”

This thought process is not uncommon among men. At a surface level, it appears logical—put in more effort, and you will achieve success, a notion ingrained in us by past generations.

However, let’s examine the phrase, “what got me here.” Precisely! That approach and those actions led him to his current state of feeling lost and unfulfilled. If he retraces that same path, it will likely lead him back to the same destination.

Strategies may yield results initially, but they eventually plateau. Without adapting or transforming our mindsets and actions, we may find ourselves stuck in the same cycle.

Many men have been taught to push harder, work more, and exhaust themselves in pursuit of results. While this method can be effective, it often leads to burnout and disillusionment. When the old ways stop working, it’s crucial to pivot and reassess our approaches.

There are men who genuinely need to cultivate resilience, grit, and a stronger work ethic; they may be too passive or hesitant in their endeavors. Yet, there are also those who have been overwhelmed by relentless hard work, leaving them feeling trapped, confused, and disconnected.

In my work with men, whether through one-on-one coaching or at The Alchemy of Men Retreat, I don’t prescribe more hustle or discipline. Instead, I help them uncover their own answers. Together, we clarify their aspirations and identify the kind of men they wish to become in order to shape fulfilling lives, relationships, and careers. They begin to manifest the peace and joy they seek.

While no one can dictate how you should live as a man, having a supportive community of men can be invaluable. Significant progress is rarely made in isolation; the strength lies in collective support. It starts with taking ownership of your life, stepping into leadership, and creating a network that encourages growth and honesty.

As Richard Rudd wisely stated, “Only that which will adapt itself can survive and flourish.”

Chapter 2: The Truth Behind Hustle Culture

This video explores the undercurrents of hustle culture, shedding light on aspects often overlooked in discussions about hard work and success.

In this video, we delve into why many feel compelled to keep working tirelessly, examining the societal pressures that drive this relentless pursuit.