Chapter 1: Understanding Self-Discipline

What does it truly mean to be self-disciplined? It turns out that mere willpower isn't sufficient.

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As a long-time running enthusiast, my journey began with the 2013 Rock 'n' Roll Seattle Marathon, which was my first half marathon. The following year, I completed my first full marathon at the same event, and since then, I've participated in seven full marathons and numerous half marathons, even before the pandemic.

Running a marathon certainly demands endurance, but it is equally about effective planning and self-discipline. Not even the best marathoners can achieve this without months of preparation, often requiring them to log 20–30 miles weekly. If you’re curious about a typical marathon training plan, you can refer to this well-known resource. Typically, the regimen involves four running days, one day of cross-training, and one rest day.

My own training is somewhat similar, though I usually incorporate an extra rest day or two. If the ability to complete an endurance race signifies self-discipline, I would seem quite disciplined. However, reality is often more complex than it appears.

Mind Over Matter?

When the topic of self-discipline arises, many envision an individual with formidable willpower—someone who conquers laziness and discomfort through sheer determination. Unfortunately, I don't fit this mold. I often find myself distracted, and on many days, I struggle to motivate myself to exercise.

People frequently associate the 'runner’s high' with the intrinsic drive to run. Sadly, I rarely experience this euphoric state, even after an invigorating run. The phrase "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41) resonates with me, as my tendency towards laziness often triumphs over my mental resolve. So, how do I maintain my self-discipline?

Don't Rely Solely on Yourself

The key to my self-discipline is rooted in a profound mistrust of my own impulses. I find that when I’m online, my attention wavers easily; a brief YouTube clip can quickly spiral into an hour of mindless viewing, distracting me from my tasks.

Initially, I despised exercising. Even when I committed to regular running, I would concoct excuses: I'm too tired, too busy, it's raining, or it's too hot or cold. I even held a membership at an upscale gym just 15 minutes away, yet I found it a struggle to go there once a week.

Clearly, these behaviors don’t align with those of a self-disciplined individual, especially not someone who's finished seven full marathons. Acknowledging my lack of discipline—both internally and externally—was my first step. Understanding my weaknesses allowed me to seek the necessary support. This marks the beginning of my transformation from indulgence to discipline through running.

Setting Goals Before Preparing

I participated in my first race in 2010, a 5k organized by Microsoft. Prior to that, I had rarely run even a kilometer, but upon seeing the event advertised, I immediately signed up. I recognized the necessity for exercise but struggled to muster the motivation.

Instead of preparing beforehand, I set a goal and compelled myself to train. With colleagues watching, the desire to save face propelled me forward. This approach proved effective; although I had never completed a 5k, I finished my first race in 28 minutes and 28 seconds. This small success launched my ongoing journey as an amateur endurance runner.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, my tactic of prioritizing the goal over motivation encapsulated the essence of self-discipline: it becomes attainable when you have a clear objective. Goals must be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Simply stating "I want to be fit by tomorrow" lacks actionable steps, and aspiring to run a marathon without prior experience is unrealistic. Progress must be gradual, starting from 5k to 10k and beyond.

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Having a well-defined goal offers direction and assigns significance to the challenges faced during training.

Outsource Your Discipline

Another successful strategy I employed involved 'outsourcing' my discipline. This means allowing others to help monitor or motivate me.

When studying, I often choose to work in a coffee shop, library, or a public space rather than my comfortable home. A truly self-disciplined individual might function well in solitude, but I often find my focus drifting. However, in a public setting, I feel the watchful eyes of others, which helps keep me on track. Interestingly, I've been able to concentrate effectively even in bustling subway stations.

Hiring a personal trainer or teaming up with a workout buddy operates under the same principle: leveraging external support to enhance focus and productivity.

Be Your Own Taskmaster

If my methods for cultivating self-discipline resemble the 12 Spiritual Principles of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), that’s intentional. The first step is 'Acceptance,' recognizing that a problem exists. The 11th principle focuses on 'Self-discipline,' but to reach this stage, one must first cultivate Hope, Faith, Courage, Honesty, Patience, Humility, Willingness, Brotherly Love, and Integrity.

While these concepts might seem lofty, they can be achieved through clear objectives and external assistance. Ultimately, internalizing these strategies is key, which can be accomplished by forming consistent habits.

“Be your own tyrant,” a principle championed by John D. Rockefeller, is also central to Stoic philosophy, exemplified by Marcus Aurelius' quote: “Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.” The core idea is simple: do not wait for others to push you; take charge and direct yourself. This self-governance is the true essence of self-discipline.

Despite taking varied paths, my journey mirrors that of many who have cultivated self-discipline. The final step in the 12 Spiritual Principles of AA is ‘Service,’ which involves helping others who share similar struggles. By sharing my experience through this article, I hope to aid others who, like me, grapple with self-discipline.

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Chapter 2: The Myth of Self-Discipline

In this section, we will explore the misconceptions surrounding self-discipline and how to overcome them.

The first video titled "The Myth of Self Discipline" delves into common misunderstandings about what it means to be self-disciplined and offers insights on how to foster true discipline.

The second video, "Lesson 29: The Myth of Self Discipline," provides further exploration of self-discipline myths, encouraging viewers to reflect on their own approaches to discipline.