Chapter 1: A Dream Deferred

Since my twenties, I've harbored a desire to perform in a rock band, yet this aspiration has remained largely unfulfilled. For years, my focus was diverted by the demands of education, work, and single-handedly raising my son.

Now at sixty-two and enjoying retirement, I find myself with ample free time. However, I often wonder where the other women are who might want to join me in this pursuit. Sadly, it seems I might be the only one among my acquaintances.

A couple of years back, I purchased an electric guitar along with an amplifier. Despite my efforts to practice and participate in open mic nights, the experience proved discouraging. Most fellow musicians were men, and I felt somewhat isolated. While some were encouraging and supportive, discussions about forming bands rarely included me. Despite suggestions to create my own group, I lacked the confidence and drive to take that step. Frustrated, I eventually set aside my guitar and amplifier, though I still hold onto them, hoping to revisit my passion someday.

A few months later, I acquired a rock drum kit and began taking lessons. I reached out to several local musicians about jamming together, but unfortunately, they all declined my invitations.

I’ve come to understand why many women feel disheartened when attempting to engage with rock music. Conversations with several non-performing women revealed that they often feel incapable of playing or singing. It appears that many of us have encountered discouragement and opted to give up on our dreams.

To thrive as a female musician, particularly in rock music, one must possess significant self-confidence and the willingness to challenge societal norms. The majority of musicians are male, and many do not offer the encouragement needed to foster female talent.

To explore this further, I conducted some research on the scarcity of women in rock bands. A female rock artist I found on Quora highlighted a few issues: women are often stereotyped as lacking skill in rock music, and there is a shortage of relatable role models. Additionally, when women do get opportunities, they are frequently relegated to playing the bass, perceived as the easiest instrument.

My passion for rock music dates back to my childhood, with my parents gifting me my first Beatles album during elementary school. With a limited selection of records, we played the same albums repeatedly, and I can still sing nearly every song from that collection. Other favorites from my youth included John Denver, Jim Croce, Carole King's Tapestry, Elton John’s Yellow Brick Road, Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water, and Bread’s greatest hits. In high school, I was captivated by the Eagles, whom I saw perform alongside Dan Fogelberg in Columbus, Ohio.

During my undergraduate years, I became a devoted fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Rolling Stones, Queen, Pat Benatar, AC/DC, and Meat Loaf. I even attended a concert by the all-female rock band Heart. My graduate school days were filled with the sounds of Prince, Michael Jackson, the B-52s, the Go-Go's, the Bangles, and John Mellencamp, whose concert I attended in 1986. My favorite song was “The Authority Song,” and its lyric, “I fight authority, authority always wins,” remains my mantra to this day.

The 1990s are a musical blind spot for me, as I was preoccupied with work and parenting. However, I’ve recently begun to explore bands from that era, such as Nirvana and Green Day.

I still cherish these artists and revisit the songs that once filled my life, akin to reuniting with an old friend. Nostalgic melodies often evoke vivid memories of my past experiences.

A few years ago, I retired from my position as a college professor in the United States and relocated to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. While classic rock is less popular here, a few local musicians still play the genre. Occasionally, I join a karaoke group where many retired Americans, including several women, perform classic rock songs.

Growing up, I took piano lessons for many years and played the clarinet in the school band as well as the viola in the orchestra—common activities for young women of my era. I’ve always had a strong singing voice and typically sing in tune, yet my attempts to break into rock music have not gained traction.

Regrettably, women in rock music are still often viewed as novelties. While youth and looks may offer advantages, attractive young women are more likely to receive romantic advances than to be invited into a male-dominated band.

Is there a significant demand for older women playing rock music? I doubt it.

Yet, I am determined to pursue this dream regardless of the obstacles.

Chapter 2: The Beat Goes On