The Journey of Self-Discovery

Money is valuable, but the empowerment that comes from self-worth is truly priceless.

As a natural worrier, I often justified my anxiety by saying I wanted to be prepared for any situation. At twenty-one, I confidently explained to my father that this mindset was a strength. Little did I realize, this habit only led to persistent anxiety.

Eventually, I recognized that my strategy of preparing for the worst was not effective, and it was time for a change.

Section 1.1: The Challenge of Changing Patterns

Living with constant anxiety became my norm, affecting my sleep and eating habits. It wasn't until I noticed significant changes in my hair that I sought help. I discovered cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which emphasizes that our thoughts shape our emotions, influencing our actions and outcomes.

This cycle can either empower us or keep us stuck in negativity. The thoughts I had been nurturing—focusing on worst-case scenarios—were holding me back. I realized I needed to consciously choose more positive thoughts to improve my feelings and actions.

A Turning Point in My Career

Reflecting on my freelance journey, I remember a pivotal moment when a client, who had supported my career, tentatively scheduled future work. Despite my gratitude, I recognized that I had been underpricing my services.

During the holiday break, I immersed myself in empowering business literature, which inspired me to charge what I believed was fair. I based my new rates not just on time but on the value I provided. With a pounding heart and trembling fingers, I sent the email announcing my new pricing.

In this video, learn effective strategies for approaching your employer about a pay raise, emphasizing the importance of confidence and preparation.

Section 2.1: Embracing New Beliefs

If I had clung to negative thoughts like “No one would pay that much,” my feelings would have been disheartening, likely leading to inaction. Instead, I chose empowering affirmations: “My work is valuable, and people appreciate it.”

The belief that “I deserve to be compensated fairly” gradually took root, supported by the positive feedback I had collected over the year.

Are Your Inner Narratives Accurate?

When my client responded that they would present my new rates for approval, a wave of doubt washed over me. I began to spiral into negative thoughts, imagining they disapproved of my pricing. I questioned my worth and feared losing a valuable client.

As days turned into weeks, I realized I was fabricating stories in my mind, convinced my silence was a sign of rejection. However, I also learned that I could challenge these thoughts.

A Surprising Turn of Events

While planning my week after a yoga class, I noticed a scheduled meeting with the client. They informed me that the event had been canceled but quickly followed up with a request for another event and additional bookings for the year!

To my surprise, they didn’t even mention my rate increase. It was as if my new pricing was understood and accepted without question.

Had I worried for weeks for no reason? Yes. But I also proved to myself that by practicing empowering thoughts, I could take decisive actions that led to positive outcomes.

Watch Dr. Alia Crum's TEDx talk on how changing your mindset can transform your life and the way you approach challenges.

Section 3.1: Steps to Changing Your Thoughts

What thoughts would empower you?

1. Define your goal.
   • Example: I want to charge a higher rate.
2. Identify limiting beliefs.
   • Example: “No one will pay that.”
3. Assess the feelings these thoughts generate.
   • Example: Guilt and shame.
4. Reflect on how these feelings influence your actions.
   • Example: Inaction.
5. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
   • Example: “People value my work.”
6. Determine the feelings you want to cultivate.
   • Example: Empowered and appreciated.
7. Gather evidence supporting your new belief.
   • Example: Positive client reviews.
8. Envision how you would act if you truly believed this.
   • Example: Informing clients of my new rates.
9. Consider your behavior if this belief was a reality.
   • Example: Acting confidently about my rates.

By starting small, you can build trust in your ability to change your thoughts and achieve surprising results.

Thank you for reading. You understand the journey.

©Copyright Rhiannon James, 2022