The Ocean's Natural Order

Have you watched the series Billions? In the seventh season, Chuck imparts a lesson on power to Philip after Prince exploits his mentor's vulnerabilities. He states, "Sharks will shark, and harbor seals will harbor seal. That is the way of the ocean." Essentially, this implies that it’s a natural tendency for those in power to prey on the vulnerable.

Giving Away Our Power

Growing up, I was raised by a volatile father and a loving yet opinionated mother, with no siblings to share the burden. My father was like a shark, wielding verbal power, while my mother was more of a harbor seal, armored yet fragile. In wanting to align with my mother, I subconsciously adopted the role of a harbor seal, learning to conform and seek approval, which led to giving away my own power.

I often felt that power equated to being an unkind person, leading me to suppress my own strengths. This belief prevented me from learning how to advocate for myself as I navigated life with a differently wired mindset.

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." — Alice Walker

Challenging the Status Quo

During my time in San Francisco, I became involved in sustainability and systemic change. Here, the dynamics of power are even more pronounced. The entrenched systems that perpetuate harm are the sharks, while those striving for change often find themselves as harbor seals, lacking the power to effectuate real change.

This dichotomy leads many to reject the concept of power altogether, believing they are the good ones fighting against it. However, the phrase "truth to power" highlights the need to redefine our relationship with power in order to instigate change.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." — Marianne Williamson

Illuminating Our Shadows

Years ago, before diving into my current work, I coached individuals who were passionate about amplifying their influence. This shark/harbor-seal dynamic became increasingly clear during that time. However, as I pursued various distractions, I lost sight of the importance of this duality.

Now that I've returned to coaching, I recognize that the quest for freedom is an intrinsic part of my identity. Yet, I’ve come to understand that true freedom must be coupled with power. In shedding my harbor seal identity, I realized that I can embrace my full potential and contribute positively to the world. However, the baggage associated with power can be complicated.

We all possess both shark-like and harbor seal traits. Disowning these aspects prevents us from accessing our healthy power, leading to stagnation in our healing journey.

We Contain Multitudes

Everyone embodies both aspects of the shark and harbor seal. Often, we oversimplify these traits, creating an us-versus-them mentality. The truth is, we cannot truly love or hate something unless it exists within us.

What we fail to recognize is that we are both harbor seal and shark—and something greater that transcends these labels.

True power arises from embracing our whole selves, including the parts we might wish to ignore.

Transitioning Beyond the Ocean Analogy

Now, I’d like to shift gears. Have you read A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin? This book has been a cherished read since my childhood. Ged, a young wizard, feels inferior to his peers and inadvertently unleashes a dark shadow. Throughout the story, he struggles with this shadow until he ultimately embraces it and finds his true power.

"The way the world is going, we need more immensely powerful benevolent humans to turn things around… not through force or fighting or appeasing, but loving, weaving, and uniting."

Power is not simply about domination, but about collaboration and internal strength. Each of us has the responsibility to define our relationship with power, integrating all aspects of ourselves to access it fully.

What Does This Mean for O-Types?

I've often pondered whether my drive for unity stems from a deep-rooted desire to heal internal fractures. Many of us disown traits that don’t align with societal norms, which can lead to a disjointed sense of self.

A fragmented self lacks power, while a coherent and unified self can achieve incredible feats. Both shark-like and harbor seal behaviors are coping mechanisms that stem from this disintegration, hindering our potential.

The world needs more compassionate and powerful individuals who can unite rather than divide.

"Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment." — Mahatma Gandhi

Your Turn

Take a moment to reflect on the sensations that arise when you consider your own power. Are there feelings of resistance? Explore these feelings.

What judgments do you hold about power—whether positive or negative? How do you embody both shark and harbor seal traits? Can you accept both aspects without judgment?

I invite you to share your thoughts with me. I've recently launched a free Self-Authored quiz and email course, designed to help you cultivate "power within."

If you're eager to amplify your influence, I currently have three coaching spots available. Using an identity-integration tool called the Touchstone™, I help individuals align their multifaceted selves to create a flourishing life and career.

The first video, Get Your Power Back in Relationships! by Kati Morton, dives into reclaiming personal power in interpersonal connections.

The second video, Growing in Right Relationship with the Right Jesus, focuses on building meaningful connections through spiritual growth.