There's a surprising outcry regarding the fact that in the marriage of a Tradwife, the husband often holds the reins. Journalist Megan Agnew's recent interview with Hannah Neeleman, dubbed the "Queen of the Tradwives" and founder of Ballerina Farm, has sparked this debate. While the focus initially seemed to be on Hannah, it quickly shifted to her husband, Daniel, who frequently interrupts her and makes his authority felt throughout the conversation.

Despite assurances from both the journalist and Hannah that she would have space to express herself, Daniel's influence is palpable, raising concerns among viewers about Hannah's autonomy. Many perceive her as ensnared in a life she didn't choose, forgetting that the Tradwife lifestyle inherently involves a Tradhusband. This connection is often overlooked, especially considering that both Hannah and Daniel share a Mormon background—a religious tradition that emphasizes conservative values.

Having grown up in a similar conservative environment, I recognize how the male figure often dictates family dynamics. In my upbringing, traditional gender roles were the norm. My father’s authority was unquestioned, and my mother was tasked with household responsibilities, mirroring the dynamics seen in Hannah and Daniel's relationship.

Daniel's efforts to steer the narrative in the interview were expected; what’s perplexing is the public reaction to it. After the interview aired, Ballerina Farm's social media accounts were inundated with comments from concerned followers urging Hannah to escape what they perceive as an abusive situation. The outrage stems from a lack of exposure to husbands like Daniel, who are more vocal and visible in their wives’ lives, unlike many other Tradhusbands who remain behind the scenes.

The Tradwife phenomenon can often feel like an idealized fantasy, particularly for those living in less idyllic circumstances. However, Daniel's prominence serves as a reminder of the underlying control that husbands exert in these relationships, reinforcing the patriarchal norms that many women, including myself, were taught to accept.

This has led to a heated discussion about whether women like Hannah are victims of circumstance or willingly complicit in their roles. Despite her seeming divergence from the typical Tradwife archetype—being less polished and more practical—Hannah still embodies conservative values, as highlighted in the interview. She subscribes to key Mormon principles, such as "sexual purity" and traditional gender roles.

While some view her as a victim in need of saving, it’s essential to recognize that Hannah has not explicitly expressed dissatisfaction with her life choices. She has made sacrifices, such as abandoning her dance career and relocating from New York City, but those decisions reflect a life she may believe is fulfilling, even if it deviates from her original aspirations.

Critics argue that women in such situations possess agency, suggesting that they choose to align with powerful men rather than their peers. However, this perspective neglects the profound impact of a religious upbringing, which can shape a woman's identity and choices from childhood. Many women do not view themselves as either victims or manipulators but rather as individuals conforming to the roles they were raised to fulfill.

In my observations, women deeply rooted in their religious beliefs often do not perceive an alternative to their prescribed roles. Their upbringing instills a sense of duty to prioritize their husbands’ needs above their own, making it challenging to recognize their agency.

Without direct communication from Hannah about her feelings regarding her life, we can only speculate about her satisfaction and sense of freedom. She has remained silent in the wake of the interview, which suggests a complex internal struggle that we can only imagine.

The expectations placed on women within certain circles are exhausting, and the collective empathy shown towards Hannah signifies a broader societal fatigue with these dynamics. Yet, we cannot feign surprise at Daniel's actions during the interview; they are consistent with the Tradwife model, which fundamentally involves male dominance.

Ultimately, while Hannah's influence is significant, Daniel's role is even more pronounced, whether we are comfortable with that reality or not.

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